Page 18 - HIWT Spring 2016 World of Welding

Light From Darkness:

A Veterans journey and reflections on healing, reintegration,
life lessons and friendship through the art and science of welding.

Text by Edouard H.R. Glück of other’s despite the social contract that governs civilized, non-
combatant environs. The responses and behavior of our newest
generation of veterans can be unpredictable,
and frightening especially to people who don’t
understand the horrible by products of armed
conflict, and the challenges that arise by proxy.
Employers are almost always at the top of this list.

For veterans who have returned, we sometimes
think the only path back is to “re engage” in what
we know and have experienced: adrenaline filled
professions and activities marked by fast thinking
on the edge with constant elements of danger
and some cases the risk of serious bodily harm
or death. Professions that allow us to be brash,
rugged, empowered with a sense of responsibility
and entitlement and above all unapologetic.
Veterans know about these things very well. On
the battlefield these were some of the only traits
encountered. This leads to my story and how I
survived.

I attended Broward County, Florida Police Academy class 278 in
The dark. This is a place that all of us as human beings have April 2011 and knew before starting, had no business being a Police
experienced at some point in our lives. Whether in a physical Officer. At all. Years later, with the benefit and wisdom that only
capacity like being stranded on the side of a desolate road at night, comes from hindsight, the decision to do this was purely rooted in
or mentally through the belief as a young child of “the man under my the legitimate fear of unemployment and needing an adrenaline
bed”, the loss of a friend, close relative, or job difficulties finding a “fix” again. The fix that one’s ego screams for. I began my police
way out of this darkness and the paralyzing fear and disappointment training and did so 7 years into what will later be diagnosed as
that almost always accompanies it can be a daunting task. untreated combat related PTSD. I did whatever was necessary
within the scope of legality to portray myself as “stable” and
For the last decade I have experienced and observed as veterans “suitable for employment” in background investigations and
of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have tried, worked, struggled interviews. All of this with sometimes uncontrollable violent
and sometimes failed with catastrophic consequences in their outbursts and actions in my personal life that frightened the people
attempts to reintegrate into a society and nation that many times closest to me. I was fortunate enough to have exercised enough
doesn’t understand the plight of our veterans, their needs; most self-control, to never have ended up in prison because of these
notably those who participated in direct armed combat. For veterans behaviors. However, in police work this kind of “fight over flight”
who have experienced this brand of darkness they know it well. mentality is often masked as an excuse that is required to protect
It is without remorse, compassion, and if untreated becomes an yourself and society...so I tried to convince myself.
unrelenting, permanent squatter in the home of your soul. Like an
unruly uncle at Thanksgiving that everybody hopes will not behave One of the most interesting phenomena that occurs when dealing
poorly, or embarrass the family or others with his behavior, this with veterans looking to rebuild and reintegrate professionally:
darkness introduced itself on snowcapped, rocky mountain tops in their interactions with those who are critical to the process.
Afghanistan and the sewage filled streets and alleys of Iraq where The individuals who are the decision makers. In my case, as the
blood was spilled, friends maimed. Friends killed. In these places recommendations started to pile up before putting in my packet,
in the wake of those kinds of experiences, many veterans upon already knowing a department was going to hire me, my gut told me
returning home became permanently unconcerned with the opinions that a few of my recommenders (and years later discovered my own

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